Road Trips and Train Wrecks
by KrazyKat12
Summary: Well, after being bored all summer, ROB sends out most of the the smashers on a road trip to some mountian. Fun right? Let's just say that this ensures CHAOS. Falco plays Angry Birds, Toon Link ticks everyone off, Ike's a jerk, Marth wants to commit suicide, Mario nearly loses his sanity, and Roy returns! Funnier than you think. R&R Also contains semi-crude humor.


**Say hello to the first story I've ever made with over 6,000 words in one chapter. It's still a one-shot but it counts.**

**This was inspired by uh, I forgot who but some one made a story about where Link, Peach, Roy, and Zelda get lost in a car. Also inspired by my first road trip in a rented van with people I barely knew.**

**In this story, no one is scarier than anyone. Marth is not feared, Peach is not feared, no one is feared except Wario who could lock all the doors and windows and then kill everyone in one fart. Just needed to put that out there. Also I almost put completely no effort in the end so that might not be funny.(I lost ideas okay?!)**

* * *

It was summer, and much to hot too do any fighting. Besides, Master hand and his brother left to who knows where, leaving Mario in charge. It took only a few days but everyone was already bored. Normally Toon Link would keep then entertained but Mario had hid all the bombs in the mansion. The only excitement they had all summer was when Marth nearly killed everyone with Rayquaza. Toon Link could hardly stand being bored as well as Ness.

ROB had suggested that they all take a road trip to some snowy mountain called 'Snurt Mt.' that was 8 hours away. Most of the smashers agreed and Mario approved. However, those that didn't want to go stayed behind to watch over the mansion. Mario rented a large bus big enough to fit the 25 smashers that were going and more. Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, the Ice climbers, ROB, Olimar, all of the pokemon characters, and Mr. Game and Watch stayed behind. Once everyone got in, they waved goodbye to those that stayed behind.

Little did they know that most of them were signing their death warrants.

* * *

It started out simple, Mario was driving, Toon Link and Ness were already spitting spitballs at everyone, Fox smelled something horrible, and Link could hear the gears in the bus practically falling apart.

"Something wrong Link?" Zelda said. She was sitting next to Peach right behind him. Link shook his head in response.

Falco was playing Angry Birds on his new Kindle Fire® while being repeatedly being hit by spitballs.

"Shoot one more spitball at me kid, and I'll rip your ears off!" Falco said. Ness put his straw down but Toon Link spit one more at him. Falco closed his Kindle Fire®, and set it aside. He looked under his seat and saw all kinds of crap. Most importantly, a bowling pin**(1)**. He picked it up threw it right at Toon Link's face.

The kid didn't bother Falco again.

Marth was sitting in the very back corner, right next to Ike, who kept trying to see what Marth was reading.

"What?" Marth said sternly, closing his book.

"What are you reading?" Ike said.

"None of your business." Marth said.

"Is it a romance novel?" Ike said.

Marth slammed him book and said,

"No! It is, not!" Marth said.

"Oh my gosh, you are reading romance!" Ike said.

"Who's reading romance?" Pit, who was sitting in the seat in front of them said.

"Marth is!" Ike said

Everyone turned and looked at Marth who felt like dying. Some looked in disgust, some didn't care, and a few gave a thumbs up. They all went back to their business after that. Marth put his face in his hands and almost cried. He felt someone tap his shoulder. He looked up and saw Snake.

"Hey, can I have a read?"

_CRASH!_

Snake jumped back a bit when Marth threw the book out the window and broke it.

"Geez man you could have said no." Snake said and sat back down.

* * *

A few minutes later Toon Link was annoying everyone by talking. Wolf had had enough and yelled,

"TOON LINK! If you don't shut up I will take your sword, cut your mouth off and rip out your vocal cords with my claws!"

Toon Link shut up.

Wolf was bored after that and rested his chin on top of the top of Falco's chair. He watched Falco play Angry Birds for awhile. Falco was really good at it, getting 3 stars every level. Falco suddenly paused the game and said,

"Wolf, if you don't get your freaking face out of mine, I'll do the same thing to you that you said you would do to Toon Link."

Wolf backed off. He kept hearing sniffing from the seat behind him. Knowing that it was Fox who was sitting behind him, he turned around and said, "Whatsa matter Fox? You crying or something?"

Fox glared at him and said, "No, I just smell something horrible." Wolf sniffed the air as well.

"Ew, you rip one?" Wolf said.

"No idiot." Fox said.

"Check under your seat, there's all kinds of crap under these seats." Falco said. Fox looked under his seat and picked up a container. He opened it and inside was what looked bag of, vomit. **(1)** Wolf smelled it and immediately broke the window next to him a puked out of it.

"What is that?!" he said. All of the other smashers smelled it and nearly died.

"It's a bag of vomit!" Fox said and threw it out his window while breaking it. He looked under his seat again and found another container. He opened it and inside was what looked like a dead rat and a pile of scat. He threw that out the window too. By now the bus smelled like Wario farted and crapped his pants. Fox found a small suitcase and hesitated opening it.

"Please don't open that!" Wolf yelled. But Fox was a fox, and his curiosity got the better of him.

He slowly unzipped the bag, and inside was… Pichu!

"What , Pichu?!" Wolf said.

"Pichu! Pi!" Pichu said and jumped out of the suitcase. He ran around the bus for a bit and finally settled in Marth's lap.

"Weirdest. Day. Ever." Samus said.

* * *

About a mile later, Mario looked ahead and saw a sign that said: WARNING ROAD AHEAD SEVERLY BUMPY

"Buckle up if you have any seatbelts!" Mario said.

Out of everyone, only Luigi could buckle up. The sign did not lie, the road was bumpy. Everyone just bounced everywhere, when Mario hit a big bump; Sonic flew up and got his quills stuck in the roof. Mario chuckled to himself and then thought about the bill he's going to receive after this.

Fox had already fallen out of his seat, Falco was desperate not to let go of his Kindle Fire®, Toon Link and Ness were laughing, and Link was nearly about to have a heart attack if one of the gears in the bus broke. The final bump was HUGE. When the bus hit it, everyone kinda floated out of their seats for a few seconds and pretty high too, thanks to the high roof. Once the bus landed, Sonic was still stuck, Fox faceplanted, Falco sighed seeing his Kindle Fire® was okay, Link almost had a stroke, Luigi was perfectly fine, and, unfortunately for Marth, he landed right in Ike's lap.

"Hey beautiful." Ike taunted. Marth punched him in the face and sat back in his seat.

* * *

About an hour later, Snake was on the floor severely injured because he tired to sing 'The Mysterious Ticking Noise' song **(2)**.

Marth decided to kick Luigi out of his seat (which was the one right across from Mario) and sit there. He still had Pichu in his lap who was trying to look out the front window. He climbed up Marth and sat on his shoulder.

"Pichu! Pi!" he said.

"What is it? You see something?" Ike, who had sat in the seat right behind Marth, said. Marth looked farther out onto the 'seemingly endless' road and saw someone familiar. "R-Roy?" Marth said. _Thump!_

Mario hit the brakes.

Marth screamed.

Wolf cursed.

Pichu might have too.

...

After a few seconds of silence Link spoke up. "Di-did we just run over R-Roy?"

"I, I think so." Ike said.

"Oh my god! He's alive!" Lucas, who was sitting in the very back now, said.

"Nope. Not dealing with this." Mario said and slammed on the gas.

"What is wrong with you?!" Marth said.

"PICHU!" Pichu said.

"Fine-a." Mario hit the brakes and backed up at full speed.

_THUMP!_

Mario hit the brakes again just as Marth punched him in the face. Marth got out followed by Pit, Ike, Link, and practically all of the smashers (except the villains, Luigi, and Mario). They looked under the bus, behind it, and in front of it. But no Roy.

"Where did he-?"

"Woohoo! Road trip!" Everyone looked into the bus and saw Roy, who took his seat in the very back. They all ran back inside the bus as well. Marth walked to the back and said, "Roy? How are you alive?"

"I can survive anything!" Roy said.

"For the love of god, you're bleeding!" Marth said. Roy felt the back of his head and looked at his hand.

"Huh, what do you know, I am. Now let's get this road trip started!" Marth facepalmed and sat at the edge of the back seat. Ike sat next to him, Roy sat in the middle holding Pichu, and Link took the other window seat.

"Oh yeah, by the way, I found this book that had your name written in it Marth." Roy said. Everyone looked at Marth again. Marth quickly snatched the book from Roy.

"Did you happen to read it?" Ike said.

"Yeah," Roy said, "It's a book about how to kill someone without anyone knowing. He had a lot of details highlighted."

Ike slowly turned to Marth who gave him an evil smile. Ike scooted away.

* * *

**To clear things up a bit, here's the where each smasher is sitting The / means that people beyond that are on the other side of the bus. (names have been shortened to make room):**  
**Mario / Luigi**  
**PeachZelda / Samus**  
**YoshiKirby / Capt.F**  
**Sonic / Falco**  
**ToonlinkNess / Wolf**  
**BowserWario / Fox**  
**GanonKingD / Lucas**  
**MK Pit / Snake**  
**Marth Ike Roy Pichu Link**

* * *

It was only 10 minutes later that Marth felt like ripping his ears off.

"46 bottles of beer on the wall, 46 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 45 bottles of beer on the wall!" EVERYONE was singing it. Everyone but Marth.

_"These people are all insane. Now I know why Mewtwo left."_ Marth thought. 5 minutes later and Marth was actually trying to jump out his window. It was too small to fit through unfortunately.

"1 bottle of beer on the wall, 1 bottle of beer! Take it down, pass it around, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!" Marth thanked god it was all over.

"Again!" Toon Link said.

_"No!"_

"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around,"

"SHUT UP, EVERYBODY!" Marth yelled. Everyone shut up and Toon Link peered at Marth.

Meta Knight turned to Marth and said, "Thank you." Marth nodded.

_One hour later…_

"PLEASE! PLEASE! I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T DROP ME!" Marth screamed. Ike was holding Marth by the back of his shirt from the top of the bus, while Mario drove at 60mph (fast as the stupid bus could go).

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Marth screamed.

"Hey guys, maybe we should just let this pass. He said he was sorry!" Roy said as he and most of the other smashers were all looking out through the opened back door. Marth had punched Ike in the face after Ike kept poking him in the arm and cursed out Peach who wouldn't stop singing a Justin Bieber song (Though everyone was relieved when he made her stop). Ike was pretty mad and Peach was crying, so Mario was ticked.

"Nope. Ike, drop him." Mario said.

"Please?" Marth said and smiled. Ike smirked.

"Well then you leave me no choice." Marth said and whistled.

Ike wished he let go of Marth when Mario told him to cause now a giant green dragon was right above him.

"Either put me safely back inside the bus, or I will have Rayquaza kill you all. Your choice." Marth said.

* * *

Ike was sitting next to Snake whereas Roy took his old seat. He nervously sat by the window as Rayquaza stared right at him. The green dragon was resting on top of the bus as Mario drove. Unfortunately the window he was sitting next to was already broken for some reason so the dragon was right in Ike's face.

"Marth, could you please tell your dragon to go home?" Snake said.

"Hmm, nope." Marth said as he read another book he brought.

"I'm hungry!" Ness said.

"I'm thirsty!" Lucas said.

"I'm batman!" Toon Link said wearing a batman costume he found under his seat **(3)**.

"Hey ho, but seriously, when's the next rest area?" Pit said.

"About-a 3 miles behind-a us when I asked everyone if-a they needed to go or-a eat, and everybody said no so, about 30 miles." Mario said.

"Fudge!" Toon Link kind of said.

"TOON LINK!" Zelda yelled. "When we get to the next exit I'm washing your mouth out with soap! And stop hanging out with Wolf!"

"Aw, but he's fun! Way better than Fox or Falco!" Toon Link said. Wolf smirked as Fox pouted and Falco was too interested in his game but was still offended.

"Hey Toon Link, wanna ride Rayquaza?" Marth said.

"Hel- Uh, Heck yeah!" Toon Link said.

"Good. I'll take you, Ness, and Lucas to the next rest stop in no time." Marth said.

"You're awesome Marth!" Ness said.

"Hey can I go too?" Pit said.

"Sure." Marth said and closed his book.

"Hey I'm a little hungry too, can I come?" Ike said. Marth opened the back door and whistled to Rayquaza. The green dragon entered the back door about half way and lowered his neck for Marth. He, Toon Link, Ness, Lucas, Pit, and Roy all got on the dragon.

"Hey wait! I need to come with you to wash Toon Link's mouth out!" Zelda said but Marth already left.

"You are so awesome Marth!" Toon Link said. Marth smirked at Wolf who was growling at him.

"Alright, Rayquaza, Extreme Speed!" Marth said and they took off like lighting.

"Aw, man! I have to pee!" Fox said.

* * *

The bus was really quiet after Toon Link and Ness left. Mario loved how peaceful it was.

Which is why he almost crashed when Falco yelled, "Die zombies, Die!"

Mario quickly regained his composure and looked through the rear view mirror. Everyone was crowed around Falco trying to watch him play, Plants vs. Zombies.

"Kill it! Kill it!" Wolf said.

"I'm trying! I hate those football zombies!" Falco said.

"Yes! Ya got him!" Samus said.

"The final level!" Ike said.

…

"HOLY CRAP." Dedede said.

"He's freaking HUGE." Snake said.

"AAH! So many zombies!" Fox said.

"Kill them! Use the Watermelon!" Peach said.

"HE THROWS CARS AT YOU?!" Wario said.

"No! Nonononono!" Falco said.

"Use the Cherry Bomb! The Cherry Bomb!" Link said.

"Forget that, use the Doom Shroom!" Zelda said.

"I don't have that!" Falco said.

"Come on, die!" Ganon said.

"NO! They ate my brains…" Falco said.

"Aw man!" Capt. Falcon said.

"Guys, it's not even that exciting of a game." Luigi said. Everyone glared at him.

"It's the hardest game ever!" Falco said.

"What? No it's not." Luigi said.

"You haven't even played have you?" Ike said.

"As a matter of fact, I have. That game is boring and too easy!" Luigi said.

"You probably played it on 'too easy'." Fox said.

"There's not even a way to set the difficulty!" Luigi said.

"What ever it's still hard." Falco said.

"No it's, ugh." Luigi said and walked over to Falco.

"Give me that!" Luigi said and took Falco's Kindle Fire®. He scooted Falco over and sat down.

"Watch and learn." Luigi said.

* * *

"Marth, I have to say once more, you are awesome!" Pit said.

"Oh please, I just did this to rub it in Ike's face. As well as Wolf." Marth said.

"I don't care! I got ice cream!" Toon Link said. Marth chuckled.

"Plus it feels nice to actually do a favor."

_"Ray!"_ Marth looked at Rayquaza.

"You hungry Ray?" Marth said. Rayquaza roared.

"Well go on. I think there's a cow pasture south of here." Marth said. Rayquaza roared and took off.

"You know Marth, for the crazy jerk everyone takes you to be, you're actually pretty nice!" Ness said.

"Thanks." Marth said half sarcastically.

"I can barely remember the last time I rode Rayquaza." Pit said.

"Yes because you were drunk." Marth said.

"Whoa, whoa! Pit got drunk?" Roy said. Marth nodded.

"Aren't you a little underage for that?" Roy said.

"I look 13, but I've lived far longer than that." Pit said.

"You sure don't act like it." Lucas said.

"What?!" Pit said.

"It's true; you really don't act like it." Roy said. Pit pouted, proving Lucas's point even more.

"Hey, is that the bus?" Ness said. Everyone turned and saw the bus pulling up and parking. Luigi walked out first followed by everyone.

"How did you do that?" Falco said.

"That was awesome!" Fox said.

"Not bad Luigi." Snake said.

"What happened?" Pit said.

"Luigi just beat the final level of Plants vs. Zombies in 5 minutes!" Link said.

"Really?!" Toon Link said. Apparently everyone was amazed at Luigi's skills in Plants vs. Zombies.

"Yeah, that was pretty good and all, but you'll never beat me at Angry Birds." Falco said.

"You got me there, Falco." Luigi said. Marth watched as everyone went to go get something to eat.

"Hey, Marth."

Marth froze.

That was Ike's voice.

Marth turned his head around and indeed saw Ike standing over him.

"I don't see your Rayquaza anywhere." Ike said.

" #$%"

* * *

**New order on bus:  
Luigi / Mario  
Samus / ZeldaPeach  
YoshiKirby / Capt.F  
SonicLucas / MK  
Falco / Snake  
ToonlinkNess / Pit  
Wolf / IkeLink  
Fox / RoyMarth  
KingD Wario Bowser Ganon**

* * *

"Alright, has-a everyone eaten? Gone to-a the bathroom?" Mario said.

"If anybody else has to use the bathroom, I would suggest to hold it." Wario said.

"That's lovely." Mario said sarcastically. "Okay, if everyone is-a ready, and I don't care if you're-a not, get in the star-forsaken bus." Everyone got in the bus just as Mario said.

"Hey bro, you want me to take over for a bit?" Luigi said.

"Oh stars yes." Mario said. They got on the bus and Luigi started it.

"Hey, Snake!" Sonic, who was _still_ stuck in the roof, said.

"What?" Snake said.

"Did you get my chili dog?" Sonic said. Snake threw the wrapped up chili dog at sonic who caught it.

"Thanks!" Sonic said.

"Hey, wait, where's Marth and Ike?" Pit said. Just then Ike came on the bus dragging an unconscious Marth.

"We're all here," Ike said, throwing Marth into some random seat, "Now let's go." Ike sat next to Link as Luigi took off.

"What the heck did you do to him?" Link said, looking at Marth. He had a bruise on his forehead and the back of his head was bleeding.

"I punched him and he fell on the concrete." Ike said.

"And you say you fight _for_ your friends, not fight your friends." Roy said.

"He punched me in the face!" Ike said.

"Speaking of which…" Mario said as he got up and walked over to Marth.

"This is for making Peach cry." Mario said and punched Marth right in the eye, causing him to wake up.

"OW!" He said. Mario went back to his seat and Peach thanked him on his way. Now Marth had a bruise on his fore head, a possibly cracked skull, and a black eye.

"I hate my life." He said.

* * *

So far, they were only 4 (most likely more) hours away from their destination. Falco fell asleep as well as some other smashers. It was now already 5:30 since the bus didn't nearly go as fast as they thought it would, Lucas kept having to pee, they recently ran over a deer, the incident with Roy, and many other things. Ever since Mario found out how fast the bus was, he predicted that they would get there at around 10:30. But because there were so many delays, he now thought that they were either going to get there at 11:00pm or they would all kill each other before then.

Luigi was driving while his brother tried to sleep. Most of the smashers were quiet but Luigi knew it was only a matter of time before everyone began yelling again.

Meanwhile in the back, while every other smasher was distracted, Toon Link was trying to get Falco's Kindle Fire. Falco wasn't holding onto it very tightly so Toon Link grabbed it, and slowly pulled it away. Once he got it he sat back in his seat next to Ness. They opened the blue cover and unlocked it.

"What? It needs a password?" Ness said.

"Hey!" Wolf whispered. Toon Link and Ness jumped in their seats. "What are you doing?!" Wolf whispered.

"Uh, nothing." Toon Link whispered back.

"Give that back to Falco right now!" Wolf whispered.

"What? Uh, don't you want to look and see what's on it? Maybe he has pictures!" Ness whispered.

"Hm. Alright. But I swear if you tell Falco I told you this, you'll never ride in my landmaster again, and I'll kill you with it!" Wolf said. (I'll suppose you know that they're whispering) Toon Link and Ness nodded.

"The password is 42587." Wolf said. Toon Link typed in the password and the Kindle revealed some of Falco's apps. Mainly the most used ones.

"Angry Birds, Angry Birds Rio, Angry Birds Space, Angry Birds Star Wars, Bad Pigs, Plants vs. Zombies, Angry Birds Seasons, What the heck is with all the Angry Bird crap?" Ness said.

"Well Falco's an _angry bird_ himself." Wolf said. Finally Toon Link found the camera app. He opened it and immediately saw all the cool features.

"Whoa! Check it out! He has night vision and heat vision!" Toon Link said.

"What does 'Missile' do?" Ness said.

"Let me see." Wolf said and took the Kindle. He aimed it at Fox who was sleeping and pressed the button. In the camera a missile fired at Fox and blew up**(4)**.

"Cool!" TL and Ness said. Wolf handed them the Kindle back. Finally Toon Link found out where all Falco's pictures were. They looked through the pictures which were mostly Falco trying out all the cool features of the camera. But TL stopped scrolling through the pictures when he saw something.

"Oh," TL said,

"My," Wolf said,

"God." Ness said. They instantly closed the Kindle and TL dropped it back in Falco's seat.

"Falco's a sick guy!" Wolf said.

"What makes you say that?" Fox, who woke up, said. However, he never got his answer.

**(This is one of the stupid funny parts but I still like it.)**

"Hey Link, got a camera?" Ike said.

"No, why?" Link said. Ike pointed behind him. Link turned around and saw Marth leaning against the window, his wounds magically healed for some reason, and then, Roy, who was asleep on Marth's shoulder. Pichu was asleep right in between them. Link covered his mouth to try to keep his laughter in.

"Pit, hey Pit!" Link said. Pit looked behind him and said, "What is it?" Link and Ike moved out of the way so Pit could see. Pit hardly kept his laughter in either, and snickered a bit.

"Move over a bit more, I'm getting a picture of this." Pit said. He got his camera out and zoomed in on Roy and Marth's faces. He took the picture and then got up to sit in Ike and Link's seat to get a full picture. Pit took the picture and the flash started to wake Marth up. They quickly got back into their seats and pretended like nothing happened.

Marth felt something on his shoulder and looked over to it. He almost screamed when he saw Roy. Ike looked back at them and said, "Morning, lovebirds." Marth flipped Ike off and pushed Roy onto the floor.

"Ow! Hey!" Roy said. Marth pretended like nothing happened. Roy sat back down and whispered to Ike, "What did I do?" Ike tapped Pit's shoulder and pointed to Roy. Pit showed Roy the picture of Marth sleeping with Roy on his shoulder and Pichu smackdab in the middle. Roy gasped and tried to grab Pit's camera but Pit was too quick. Link and Ike laughed as Roy reached over their seat just to try get Pit's camera. The commotion woke Falco up who saw that his Kindle had been moved.

"Who messed with my Kindle?" Falco heard TL and Ness gulp and said,

"Do it again kids, and I'll rip your throats out." They nodded. Falco opened his Kindle and saw where it was left off.

"Aw, crap. I still haven't deleted all the pictures from that guy who owned this first." Falco said.

"So, you didn't take that photo?" Ness said.

"Of course not! What do you take me for some kind of sicko? I'm not Captian Falcon." Falco said. As he deleted the rest of the pictures, Roy kept trying to get Pit's camera. Once Falco was done, he put his Kindle down and snatched Pit's camera.

"What are you getting so worked up abo-" Falco stopped when he saw the picture of Marth and Roy. He burst out laughing and sat in his seat.

"Give me that!" Roy said. Pit was laughing too hard to get his camera back, and Marth was too busy thinking of a way to kill himself to bother going after the camera. Falco held Roy back as he tossed TL the camera.

"Pass it around kid!" Falco said while laughing. Now it was a game of monkey in the middle or, Roy in the middle rather, in the bus. With everyone laughing and getting a glimpse of the photo before tossing it to someone else. All this was really torture to Roy until Peach caught the camera and everyone stopped.

Peach looked at the photo , giggled and said, "Aw, how cute! But you know, that's not a very nice thing to do."

"You're right Peach. I'll take care of the photo." Pit said. Peach nodded and gave Pit the camera. Roy sat down and stared at Pit.

"You know," Pit said, "My camera's also a phone, and I just posted these 2 pictures on Smashbook."

That did it.

Marth tackled Pit and started to strangle the angel. It took the power of Link, Ike, Mario, Luigi, _and_ Ganondorf, to pry Marth off of Pit. The angel took in as much air as he could while Ganondorf knocked Marth unconscious.

"Was that really necessary, Ganon?" Falco said.

"I'd say so." Pit said as he rubbed his neck. Now with the unconscious Marth back in his seat, Luigi started the bus up again and took off.

* * *

"We're not even there yet and this has already been the best vacation ever!" Toon Link said. Roy rolled his eyes. After being called a few choice words on Smashbook, including on the bus, he didn't feel like being in a random mood anymore. It was already 7:00 and mostly everyone was asleep. He had been looking out the window the whole time and didn't even notice the perfect display of revenge in front of him. Only when he looked over did he see it.

This time, _Ike_ was sleeping on _Link_'s shoulder, and not only that, Link had his head on Ike's!

He slowly got out of his chair and walked to where he was in front of the 2. Roy had to hold in his laughter especially when he saw that Ike and Link's hands were touching. Roy only had one problem: he didn't have a camera. He knew Falco had a camera. He tapped Falco's shoulder, waking Falco up.

"Can I use your Kindle's camera?" Roy said, pointing to Ike and Link. Falco's eyes went wide and he handed Roy his Kindle.

"Scratch it and I will kill you, and I'm only letting you do this because I always love watching people getting revenge." Falco whispered. Roy nodded. He got the camera right in front of Link and Ike, careful not to wake up Pit, and took the picture. The flash was bright but Ike and Link were knocked out. Roy took a couple more for good measure and sat back in his seat. He hid the Kindle when Ike and Link moved, and Roy was glad he got a picture before they did cause now Link was leaning on the window and Ike was about to fall out of his seat. Roy looked back at the Kindle and clicked the 'upload to Smashbook' button.

He was going to log himself in, but since _Falco_ was _already_ logged in…

* * *

A few minutes later Ike woke up and heard his iphone go off. He unlocked it and saw that Falco had tagged him in a post. Link had woken up as well and was checking the same thing. They saw three horrifying pictures.

"FALCO!" Both Ike and Link yelled, waking everyone in the bus up (Including Marth).

"What?!" Falco said. He turned and saw Ike and Link staring him angrliy. "What'd I do?"

Ike shoved the picture of him and Link in Falco's face.

"I didn't upload that! … ROY!" Falco yelled. Roy was in his seat laughing his head off.

"Roy, did you upload this to Smashbook?" Link said. After hearing what Link said, everyone went on Smashbook and saw the pictures. They all laughed at both Ike and Link.

"Not so funny now is it?!" Roy said.

"Why would you even do that to us?! Pit was the one who uploaded the photo!" Link said.

"Well I'm sorry if you 2 have been complete jerks this whole trip!" Roy said.

"Ike maybe, but not me!" Link said.

"Hey!" Ike said.

"Roy's right, you have been a complete jerk this whole trip." Fox said.

"In fact, Bowser, Wario, Ganon, and Kind Dedede have all been minding their own business!" Marth said. (Little did anyone know, Dedede had been recording everything with glasses he got from ROB)

"Look who's talking! You've been threatening everyone with your Rayquaza, and you cursed Peach out!" Ike said.

"Okay, 1, You tried to throw me off the bus and 2, NO ONE LIKES JUSTIN BEAVER!" Marth yelled.

"IT'S BIEBER!" Peach yelled.

Then everyone began fighting, and yelling, and screaming until Mario had had enough. He sped up the bus without anyone noticing then suddenly hit the breaks, causing everyone to either slide on the floor, or do flips over all the seats. Either way, they all ended up piled on top of each other in the front of the bus. Mario then began driving again as everyone went back to their seats. However, Ike punched Roy in the face, Marth punched Pit in the face, Link punched Falco in the face, and Toon Link punched Ness in the face.

"Ow! Why'd you hit me?" Ness said.

"I don't know, everyone else was doing it." Toon Link said.

* * *

_8:30pm, time left until destination is reached:_

'_Oh god if we only knew'_

**(I ran out of idea's here)**

Everyone was awake now and Ness was exceedingly bored. He started to look under all the seats to see was he could find.

"A cherry, a peanut, trash, trash, dead mouse, ooh cool an iphone!" Ness said and stuck the iphone in his pocket.

"Has anybody seen my iphone?" Ike said.

"Let's see, toilet paper, a hobo, snot rags, that bowling pin Falco threw at TL, a trophy, coins, a morning star, ninja scroll, a sandwich, a shoe, a golf club, oooo! Cool Yo-yo!" Ness said and stuck that in his pocket too.

"Hm, an orange, an pencil, a nuclear bomb, a cat, a raccoon, a pokeball, a flag, a CD, a smart bomb, hey wait a minute, so _this_ is where Mario hid all the bombs!" Ness said and continued to explore.

Meanwhile Link was a little nervous after he thought he heard Ness say 'a nuclear bomb' while he was looking under all the seats. When Luigi made a sharp turn, indeed a nuclear bomb rolled out from under his seat.

"Oh Din." He whispered.

"Is, that a, a nuclear bomb?!" Pit said. Everyone turned and looked at the nuclear bomb that was rolling around on the floor. Luigi slowly came to a stop and everyone stared at the bomb that was in the middle of the floor. In the silence of it all they heard a ticking noise. Snake would have tried to sing the 'The Mysterious Ticking Noise' song if he wasn't so scared.

"LUCAS! GET IT OUT!" Zelda said. Lucas used his PSI powers to carefully set the bomb out side the bus. After that Luigi hit the gas and took off.

"Don't you think we should have dumped it away from a city?" TL said.

"They'll be fine. That's just where the assist trophies live." Mario said.

"Oh, Okay!" TL said.**(5)**

* * *

FINALLY, the smashers arrived at their destination. And just as everyone was about to get out, the door got jammed.

"Hurry up and open it!" Marth yelled.

"Hurry, hurry, please!" Ness said.

"Wow, it's snowing at the bottom of this mountain!" Pit said.

"GOOD GOD MAN, OPEN THE DOOR!" Toon Link said.

"I'm trying!" Mario said.

Then, everyone heard it.

And smelled it.

Wario had just farted.

With all of them locked inside.

The worst part was that Mario had rented a new better looking bus, with unbreakable windows. Everyone tried to break the windows, the door, anything possible. They all nearly passed out when Wario farted again.

"Heh, sorry." Wario said. Just as Mario finally got the door opened, Bowser burped and ignited the air. Everyone ran out burning alive and had to put themselves out in the snow. Except it wasn't snow, it was fake. Capt. Falcon touched the mountain which turned out to be fake too.

"What ?" Wolf said. Just then they saw ROB and the others that stayed behind. They were relaxing in the sun, perfectly happy. Everyone ran over to them angrily.

"**ROB!**" They all yelled, scaring the robot out of his lawn chair.

"Oh, you're back. Did you have fun?" ROB said.

"NO. The directions you gave us were crap, and we're right back at the mansion!" Luigi yelled.

"But that was my plan all along. You guys didn't seem to get along much, so I planned this trip for everyone to get to know each other better." ROB said.

"WHAT?!"

"We nearly killed each other for nothing?!" Snake said.

"I went through HELL on that trip!" Marth said.

"You're, you are going to get it robot." Mario said. "These idiots nearly made me lose my sanity because of you!"

"CHARGE!" Pit yelled.

ROB was never found again.

Dedede still recorded it all.

Ness kept Ike's iphone

Sonic was still stuck in the roof of the old bus

And in the end, it was the best vacation ever.

_The end_

_The lesson here:  
Always get along with people you hate because you never know when you might be stuck with them in a boring road trip._

* * *

**(1) These are the parts that were inspired by an actual trip I had. In a rented van. With people I barely knew. There were about four bowling pins and a coke-a-cola sign under the back seat, and someone found a bag of vomit under their seat as well as a used snot rag.**

_**Blech.**_

**(2)There's actually a fanfic on here that has Snake singing that song Smash Bros. Style**

**(3) Based of a very funny flipnote I saw. I believe it was made by someone named, EpicGuitar**

**(4) Got that idea from Conan.**

**(5) Poor Assist trophies... I HOPE THEY BURN.**

**I hope you had lots of laughs from this CRACK-FIC. And There should really be more stories where the smashers go in a road trip or something! That is comedy (fools)Gold right there!**

**X3**


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